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At times, Jay Spring believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “highly unrealistic”, he states. You’re riding high and you think, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are typically succeeded by a “sudden low”, during which he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his actions, leaving him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from external sources. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits through digital sources – and was later evaluated by a clinician. However, he is skeptical he would have taken the label if he hadn’t previously arrived at that realization by himself. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – most notably if they experience a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And that world is like, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

While people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what the term implies the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he believes many people conceal it, because of so much stigma around the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through actions such as pursuing power,” the expert clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

While up to 75% of people found to have the condition are males, research indicates this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the covert form, which is often overlooked. “Men’s narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, just kind of like everything in society,” says an individual who shares content on her co-occurring conditions on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to defence mode or I completely shut down.” Despite having this reaction – which is known as “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she doesn’t want to slip into the damaging patterns of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she notes she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of positive role models as a child. I’ve had to teach myself all this time which behaviors are acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me growing up,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be connected with childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and professional advancement, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “good enough”.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, finds it hard to manage mood stability. She is “highly empathetic of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, an assessment was arranged to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: It was indicated it is probably going to be maybe February or March next year.”

John has only told a few individuals about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he says. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the development of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number